After terrorizing the citizens of Los Angeles for roughly 6 years, the jerks behind 24 decided to mix things up a bit and set Jack Bauer's latest killing spree in Washington, D.C. Cool right? No! Wrong! Thanks a lot Fox. Now I can't get into a bloody Metro without checking every door for a bio-weapon canister with an uncanny resemblance to morning wood or step into an airplane for fear of having a mad, goatee wearing backstabber blow it up.
Washingtonian-terrorizing aside, season 7 has been, in the kindest words, a mixed bag. But since I'm not the type to suck a television show's metaphorical genitals (I leave that to the professionals), I'm going to go out and say season 7 was the visual equivalent of having someone fart into your mouth while you're asleep. That doesn't mean this is the worst season of 24 ever (that dubious honor goes to the sixth season which introduced Jack Bauer's family... filled with terrorists), but it's a damn close second, disappointing given the incredibly long time in between seasons.
What every season of 24, so far, has been able to do is to pull off a good season finale (even season 6's was pretty good). With the expectations sky high and about ninety-billion plot threads to tie up (and that's a conservative estimate), does 24 deliver? In short: no. In long: ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
While I wouldn't say the season finale was complete shit, it didn't hold up to the tradition of 24 seasons at least ending strong. What we did get were a couple competent action sequences, some shoe-horned messages, some really shoe-horned messages and some inexplicable plot developments. I won't say plot twists because, save for 2 of them, all of these story elements were predictable as President Bush's 2008 approval ratings.
The one of the two "plot twists" was so mind-numbingly retarded that I won't even go into details. The other was fairly surprising to me: Kim Bauer (Elisha Cuthbert) did something useful. Yes, it seems that after 7 fucking seasons, the producers of 24 finally give Kim something useful to do. That's right, no kimnapping, cougar scenes or whacked boyfriends.
The biggest offender in this episode was the ending. I feel insulted by the writers that they could actually make us believe that Jack could possibly die even though season 8 (set to start production in a mock NYC set in LA) has almost started filming. Anyone who didn't see the whole Jack getting un-diseased plot development coming should is either a gigantic tool or a complete idiot.
Recommended for: 24 fans
Not recommended for: 24 fans
Back Inside is a column written by The Raconteur and eatYourOats, discussing the quality of movies and television shows now in theaters or on your television.
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